RumblinFumblinStumblin.com

This one’s for you, Huggy Bear!

(1 unit) Texas A&M - 13.5 vs. Kansas State - That spread is a testament to just how much Billy Clyde’s Fightin’ Texas Aggies have been drilling people (101-27 vs. Grambling, for example). If only there were some way to search for things on the internet, I would (1) look up where the Aggies rank in terms of victory margin, and (2) name that search-mechanism something whimsical like “Smoogle” or something.

Anyhoo - I hate that spread (only because a 25 point margin can shrink to 13 pretty quickly once guys abandon the offense and start jacking it up), but I love the dynamics. The Mildcats have Bill Walker, who will continue to develop as a force during the conference season (since he wasn’t eligible until Dec. 17th). The Aggies have great defense, a potent offense, experience from taking #1 UCLA to the wire in SoCal, and a team concept.

Kansas State has none of those. In addition, K-State has a point guard that should be at the 2-spot. Just watch and you’ll understand - he’s not a point guard. My prediction is that the Aggies force at least 5 turnovers off him and score 20 points off the break.

Gig ‘Em!!!

I was rolling my eyes at first, but I ended up being impressed after (1) he switched hands, and (2) I tried to do it.

(2 units) Creighton + 1 @ Evansville - Creighton has absolutely CRUSHED my picks so far this year. But I still believe in them for the following reasons:

Nate Funk is warrior.

Tolliver is one of the best big men in the country.

Dana Altman is one of the best coaches in the country.

Creighton’s talent level is superior.

E-ville is… E-ville. Don’t get me wrong - I love the program, but there’s no way they should be favored at home against Creighton.

Although… they do have one of the best mascots in college basketball. His name is Ace Purple, and he is - I am not making this up - based on a turn-of-the-century riverboat gambler. If anybody finds a link to a picture of the living mascot, please post the link in the comments section. Either way, he looks like a pimp and has a feather in his hat:

You Guys Playin’ Cards?

(2 units) LSU - 5 vs. UConn - I’m not particularly impressed with UConn, but in my opinion LSU has a killer instinct that UConn doesn’t. This is going to be a wildly entertaining, up-and-down game, but I think LSU handles them unless Big Buh-Davis (my new nickname for Glenn “Big Baby” Davis) gets into foul trouble. Watch it if you can.

(1 unit) Washington State + 2 vs. ‘Zony - Probably a stupid pick, but there’s never a bad time to pick against ‘Zony.

(1 unit) Indy State + 6 @ Illy State - Illy State has their backs to the wall, being winless in conference with a nice amount of talent on their squad. But 6 is too much. Look for the Trees to very possibly win this one outright and stake a claim to the upper echelon of the feeding frenzy that is the Missouri Valley Conference.

(1 unit) Oklahoma State - 13.5 vs. Baylor - I don’t have many thoughts on this other than “uhhhhh… Okie State is gonna whomp ‘em”. Baylor is better than people think and will test some teams this year though.

(1 unit) Drake - 3 vs. Bradley - Part of me says that Bradley is ready to rebound from the butt-stomping they received at Wichy-Taw State earlier in the week, but the rest of me says that Drake is winless and therefore has their backs against the wall and is very aware that Jeremy Crouch is still out for Bradley. Crouch is Bradley’s best guard, and Drake and Dr. Tom Davis play a lot of full-court pressure D. Do the math. Also, circle this date on the calendar because Drake is only favored in a game once every few decades.

Happy Hunting, and check back here in future for a new RFS basketball feature.

Sincerestly,

RFS

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Cumulative Prognostication Record: 38-30-4 (56%)

Cumulative Prognostication Net Units: +3
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Popularity: 7% [?]

The more you eat, the more you… pray?

Since it’s New Year’s Eve and everybody’s celebrating and otherwise whooping it up, I’ve decided to nominate the Honorable Reverend Robert Tilton as RFS’ official noisemaker.

This video is an oldie but a goodie, and it also serves as a litmus test for RFS readers.

In other words, if you do not find this amusing, you:

a) are unconscious, or

b) have a sense of humor that has developed beyond that of a 12 year old boy.

In either case, you should not be reading RFS.

Anyhoo, here’s the clip (***WARNING*** - there’s no profanity or nudity, but make sure the volume is adjusted if you’re in sensitive surroundings).

The facial expression and maniacal laugh at :30 is my favorite. Make sure you watch that one twice:

The editing/timing on that was just out-dad-gum-standing. As you’ve probably guessed, I don’t have a whole lot of patience with televangelists bilking bedridden, desperate, or otherwise downtrodden people out of their money.

Bottom line - if you can watch that (especially after a couple of liquid refreshments) without chuckling, giggling, laughing, or shedding tears… this is all I have to say to you:

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RFS Reader, you’re nothing to me now. You’re not a brother, you’re not a reader, you’re not a friend. I don’t want to know you or what you do. I don’t want to see you in the Comments section, I don’t want you near my domain name. When you look at Derrich.com, I want to know a day in advance, so I won’t be there. You understand?

I know it was you, RFS Reader. You broke my heart. You broke my heart!
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Much to your relief, I will refrain from kissing RFS traitors on the mouth unless you send me a picture and a recent blood test. All applicants must pass the following:

RFS Hepatitis Test (negative)

RFS Uterus Test (positive)

RFS Chromosome Test (46’s only).

Okay, maybe there’s some wiggle room on the first and the third. But don’t test me. Especially on the third one - I don’t want 4-H coming after my arse (again).

Back to the topic at hand - there’s plenty of these videos on YouTube, so I’ll only post one more. Make sure to notice him speaking in tongues at 1:48:

So… I think I can sum it up best by paraphrasing a well-known Christmas carol:

RFS wishes you a Merry Christmas
RFS wishes you a Merry Christmas
RFS wishes you a Merry Christmas
And a

POO-BA-BA-KAN-DA!!!!

Onward and Upward,

RFS

PS - Drive safe and remember… it’s Amateur Night.

Popularity: 46% [?]

You shoulda seen him against Schulenberg

Alright. We have our first NBA discussion, thanks to loyal RFS reader and RFS Chief Basketball Commentator Dan “Chitwood” McGillicuddy. Believe me, if you saw him back in the day… you’d know where the name came from. Many a team got caught watching the paint dry while Dan dropped 35 and 10 (assists) on them.

***Random RFS Trivia*** - The actor that played Jimmy Chitwood in the movie Hoosiers was the only actor in the movie (that portrayed a Hickory High player) that did NOT play college basketball.

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In his submission, Dan writes:

“I would like to throw this out as the “greatest” starting five of all-time (that would actually function as a team is one of the key components):

PG - Earvin “Magic” Johnson
SG - Michael Jordan
SF - Larry Bird
PF - Tim Duncan
C - Bill Russell

I think you have two of the greatest passers (Magic and Bird), the greatest clutch shooters in Bird and MJ, the one-on-one ability of MJ and Duncan, and then the rebounding/blocks/hustle/winning plays of Russell.”

-RFS Chief Basketball Commentator Dan “Chitwood” McGillicuddy
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We’ll get to the argument in a second, but in the interim, enjoy the following video of Magic.

Make sure to notice the following:

-The badass threaded pass to “Big Game” James Worthy (at 1:00)

-”Around the World” (at 1:05)

-The Magic to Michael Cooper “Coop-A-Loop” (at 1:09)

-SICK wraparound (at 1:25)

-Cheesy 80s-style celebration by AC Green and Magic (at 1:47)

The main thing to note is that Magic was doing these things when it was UNTHINKABLE that a 6′8″ guard could/would/should do them. Maybe Steve Nash (or his progenitor John Stockton) have some better highlights, but the thing about Magic is that he broke the ground. I don’t watch much NBA basketball - maybe 20-30 games per year - but I still don’t see threaded passes through traffic like Magic pulled off.

Anyway, my official RFS comment is that there are 2 spots up for debate on Dan’s list (5 years ago there would have been 3).

Five years ago many people would have argued for Karl Malone at PF, but since I hate that whiny foam-front, mesh-back, spandex-wearin’, free-throw-line-mumblin, sonuva… I’ll leave it at that. Tim Duncan is the right choice - for you hoops connisseurs out there, I think you’ll agree that NOBODY has ever used the glass better than Duncan. And I’ll fully admit - since “Chitwood” and I have known each other for many years - that I didn’t expect Duncan to be one of the great ones. Dan saw him at Wake and saw a Hall-of-Famer.

On to the All-Time Team argument:

The two possibly glaring omissions are… Oscar Robertson and Wilt Chamberlain. The Big O and Wilt the Stilt didn’t win many championships, but they changed the game.

Everybody knows that Oscar was the first guy to average a triple-double. Everybody knows that Wilt was the first to average 50 points per game.

But who do you kick off?

MJ is a lock. Magic is a lock. Bird is… a lock (we’ll cover the “if he was black, he’d be just another good player” topic at another time).

That leaves me with Duncan and Russell, both of whom I respect.

Very tough.

So tough that I can only bump one. Here’s my squad:

PG- Magic Johnson
SG - Michael Jordan
SF - Larry Bird
PF - Bill Russell
C - Wilt Chamberlain

A very tough decision, but Wilt changed the game. Head to head, he DESTROYED Russell, and count me in the camp of people that believe a supporting cast IS important.

Wilt never had anybody around him. Big Russ had Hall-Of-Famers.

Furthermore, I think that Russell - while he couldn’t shoot a lick outside - would be an ideal power forward on a team-oriented squad.

And that’s just one man’s opinion. Thanks to Chitwood McGillicuddy for the submission.

And as one final treat, enjoy the video from the guy that just might be my favorite NBA player of all time. At the very least, he’s the captain of my all-time NBA Warrior Team (which we’ll cover at another time).

Even if you don’t watch the entire video, make sure you catch the dunk 37 seconds into the clip. Probably my vote for my favorite dunk ever (yet another topic), but at the very least you gotta love him rearing back and cranking on Bill “Tuuuurrrrrrrrrriiible” Walton. And keep in mind that the Round Mound was only 6′5″.

As always, comments and emails are welcome.

Peace and Chicken Grease,

RFS

Popularity: 36% [?]

Well, I couldn’t put a Homer Simpson clip on here without giving Peter Griffin equal time.

Popularity: 6% [?]

RFS will be returning with a little more content later this week (particularly since I’ve received some good email recommendations).

In the interim, enjoy the holidays - WOW WOW WOW!!!

Popularity: 6% [?]