For those of you who haven’t seen the movie Boiler Room, a “reco” is a recommendation. If you don’t want to watch the entire clip, just pay attention to what happens at 1:12 (that’s what I’m doing right now)…
That’s a pretty solid movie if you’re interested in the stock market, by the way.
Anyway, to get back on topic -
I’m completely wrapped up in Seasons 1 and 2 of The Wire right now. I’m not going to oversell it, but… just take my word for it.
If you’re a fan of HBO dramas, or cop shows, or drug dealers, or nicknames… you have to watch it. If you need additional reasons to watch it, see the list below (no spoilers are involved, but you’ll understand them after you watch).
Top 6 Reasons to Watch ‘The Wire’:
6. As Senator Clay Davis said in his inauguration speech… “You ain’t watchin’ The Wire?! Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeit!”
5. Because Stringer and Wee-Bey said to! Now quit askin’ questions, or we gonna send Stinkum and Little Man after you!
4. If you don’t, at the next neighborhood picnic you’ll get seated between Little Kevin and Proposition Joe…
3. … or you gotta move in with Bubbles. Your choice.
2. Chris and Snoop are gonna start lookin’ for you, man. That’s all I’m going to say.
and
1. Because Omar’s comin’ to make sure you’re watchin’, yo.
The cheese stands alone… the cheese stands alone…
———————————————————————————-
Rent it, buy it, whatever. Just watch it. Season 1 is selling on Amazon (link below) for $48. If you don’t want to keep it, sell it on eBay for $40.
1. One dunk does not get you on the list. This means you, Tom Chambers, John Starks, and Kevin Johnson (a T5P1 Best Dunks will eventually get done).
2. Bonus points for being groundbreaking in a meaningful way (i.e. George Mikan, Bob Kurland, and Bill Russell will NOT be on the list).
3. Bonus points for showmanship and personality.
4. Bonus points for leaping ability, mobility, and ferocity.
5. Negative points for lack of career significance - also known as “the Terence Stansbury Rule” or the “Kenny ‘Sky’ Walker Corollary”.
6. Bottom line - the dunkers that most completely answered the question of “who did I anticipate the most, and who made me rewind the most to watch them again?” make the list. That… and the “Holy Crap!” factor.
And since the topic is so important, I’m ranking them in reverse order.
WARNING - the music on many of the videos has F (and N, for that matter) bombs in there.
***************************************
THE RFS ALL-TIME BEST DUNKERS
***************************************
HONORABLE MENTION / ALSO CONSIDERED:
Clyde “the Glide” Drexler - one of the three smoothest dunkers ever, and the Captain of Phi Slamma Jamma
Darrell Griffith - aka Dr. Dunkenstein
Jackie Jackson - playground legend that could pick quarters off the top of the backboard
Larry Nance - winner of the first NBA dunk contest, casualty of the “showmanship/personality” rule
Terence Stansbury - his performance in the 1987 contest was ridiculous. I can’t prove it, but I’d be willing to bet that he was the first guy to spend more than a couple of hours choreographing and practicing his own dunks. Plus, he has a top-10 dunk of all-time to his credit… but that’s another topic.
Connie Hawkins - playground legend, ABA legend, and one of the three smoothest dunkers ever
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Earl Manigault - “The Goat” was a 6′1″ playground legend that once dunked 36 times in a row behind his head to win a bet. He was also famous for his “double dunk” - he could dunk, pull the ball out, and dunk again before he came down.
Billy Cunningham - “The Kangaroo Kid” could get up.
Spud Webb - The still photos are unreal. Same goes for Nate the Great Robinson.
“Did you see Shooter gusjohnson that bottle of whiskey?”
On to the list.
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The Top 5, Plus One:
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My “Plus One” - Michael Jordan - Probably the greatest player ever, MJ’s epic battles with Dominique Wilkins in the early years of the dunk contest established it as a mainstay of All-Star weekend. “Rock the Cradle”, “Kiss the Rim”, and his dunk from the free throw line sold ads on SportsCenter, basketball cards, posters, and God knows what else.
In short, he was exciting, creative, and a showman. I had a hard time putting him this low, but I believe there’s a case to be made for everyone above him. Check out the video:
If anybody figures out what Kelly Tripucka was thinking in the #4 highlight, please email me.
#5 - Shawn Kemp - This is a guy who could have been on the “What Might Have Been Team”. But he had some success. And his performance in the dunk contest was groundbreaking. He’s also the first guy that I remember in the modern era who would dunk hard by flipping it through the net (and not pulling the rim).
I still maintain - as I did at the time - that he should have taken off from at least the free throw line (which I believe he could have) and done his “long jump stride” dunk. Nobody would remember Jordan’s tongue-out, spread-eagle free throw line dunk if he had.
#4 - Vince Carter - To be completely honest, I had him at #2 right up until I had to type this. But I couldn’t do it. Half-man and half-amazing, Vince Carter had creativity, ferocity, and a real career. But he just didn’t break enough ground to be higher than #4 (maybe there isn’t that much ground left to be broke, though).
Personally, I like the 360s.
And since it wouldn’t be a good column if I didn’t post footage of Vince’s dunk over the 7′2″ guy in the Olympics…
I’m glad we didn’t have to see how that turned out if VC misjudged the guy’s height by a couple of inches (or slipped on the floor).
#3 - Julius… the Doctor… ERRRRRRRRRRRVING!!! - If there were more weight on the “groundbreaking” aspect of the ranking, he’d probably be #1 with no question. Every modern-era superstar I’ve ever heard either (1) cites him as a role model, or (2) cites someone who has cited Dr. J as a role model.
Not to mention that he has what is probably the most famous dunk of all-time (his free throw line dunk at the ABA dunk contest in Denver in 1976). Personally… I don’t like that dunk that much (and not just because Brent Barry duplicated it). There are many others of his that I enjoy more. Especially this one:
Did you notice how Michael Cooper decided to try to block it for about 1/8 of a second, then he just covered up to avoid being injured? Greatness.
The first couple of seconds of this next video has a probable NSFW (Not Safe For Work) photo on it, so cover it up if you need to. If you look at the opening picture and are completely comfortable with your coworkers looking at it… please send a job application to rumblin@gmail.com.
Holy crap. I’d forgotten just how fluid he was. If you’ve seen anyone palm the ball off the dribble like that recently, let me know. Because I haven’t.
#2 - Darryl Dawkins - First of all, I should say that I’m tempted to disown/”Fredo” anyone that disagrees with me on this one. But I’ll make my case:
1. He was groundbreaking - He shattered backboards during games, forcing the NBA to switch to the breakaway rim.
2. He was a leaper and was mobile, and had a nice career with the Sixers
3. As far as showmanship and personality… you’ve got to be kidding me. See the following.
4. His nickname was Chocolate Thunder, which in and of itself is a top-20 all-sport nickname (yet another RFS column)
5. He claimed to hail from the planet Lovetron.
6. On his home planet Lovetron, his girlfriend’s name was - and I am not making this up - Juicy Lucy.
7. He named his dunks. And when I say he named his dunks, that’s roughly analogous to saying that Shakespeare wrote some plays, F. Scott Fitzgerald liked to drink and write stories, Lebowski liked to relax, and Ron Jeremy made a career out of fornication. Dawkins’ signature dunk was his backboard-shattering jam over Dave Robinzine. He named it:
It’s killing me that I can’t find some video footage of it, but you’ve probably seen it. The name is what’s important. In addition, he had the following names for his other dunks:
The In Your Face Disgrace
The Go-rilla
The Earthquaker Shaker
The Candyslam
The Dunk You Very Much
The “Look Out Below!”
The Yo Mama (my personal favorite)
The Sexophonic Turbo Delight
The Rim Wrecker
The Greyhound Bus (in which he went coast-to-coast)
The Cover Your Head, and
The Left-Handed Spine Chiller Supreme
Enough yammering from me. Watch the video (and ignore the captions - many of the dunk names are wrong):
Bottom line - he was a leaper, charismatic, mobile, a solid player, and he energized a future generation of dunkers. Perhaps I was overly influenced by all the bling he wore during games or cowboy-elevator-shadowboxing, but I doubt it.
#1, The Greatest Dunker of All-Time, Dominique Wilkins - Period, end of story.
I’ve talked basketball with a lot of guys over the years, but Dominique is a consensus pick for the greatest dunker.
Most of what you see on SportsCenter and in the slam dunk contest is a derivative of what he did at Georgia and with the Hawks. Vince Carter is nearly a complete derivative.
He was a perennial All-Star, one of the greatest scorers in the history of the league, an NBA 50th Anniversary top-50 player, he practically invented the windmill and the double-clutch, few if any players could match his leaping ability, he was involved in one of the greatest 4th quarter mano y mano battles in the history of the league with Larry Bird, and his nickname was “The Human Highlight Film”.
The only mark against I can think of is that I had to wear Brooks Highlights basketball shoes one year - those things were HORRRRRIBLE! I hope you got paid, ‘Nique.
Notice all of the double-clutches in traffic and the all-out assaults on the rim. Outside of that, I’m not even going to make any more of a case for him being #1, because doing that would imply that a case actually needs to be made.
So… in summary…
—————————————————————————————- THE RFS TOP 5 PLUS 1 BEST DUNKERS OF ALL-TIME:
Dominique Wilkins
Darryl Dawkins
Julius Erving
Vince Carter
Shawn Kemp
plus
Michael Jordan
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Comment below or email me at rumblin@gmail.com.
As an added bonus, check out a nice compilation video that has a lot of the players mentioned above:
But what I like even more is that RFS Chief Basketball Commentator Dan “Chitwood” McGillicuddy dropped a top 5 into my email (rumblin@gmail.com) that is worthy of a write-up…
******************************************************* THE RFS ALL-”WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN” TEAM:
*******************************************************
CAPTAIN: Len Bias, 6′8″ SF, Boston Celtics - Since he never played in an NBA game, it requires a lot of extrapolation to name him captain of this squad… but that’s something I’m willing to do.
Today, it’s common for forwards to shoot 20-footers and have muscular physiques. Twenty years ago those things were pretty much unheard of, and that’s what makes Lenny Bias so special. Before I start rambling, watch the video (fair warning to Celtic and Terp fans to grab a hanky and a blanket, because I’m a fan of neither and it got chilly in the room):
Two bona fide “holy crap!” moments on the blocked shot at 1:25 and the still photo at 3:30, and a “couldn’t have said it better myself” when Seth Davis gave the short and sweet comparison to Michael Jordan.
Next time you watch college (or the pros, for that matter), keep track of how many 6′8″ guys you see with a shot that sweet… that can jump like that… and aren’t afraid to take it to the rack.
Bottom line - as Chitwood noted in his email to me, “a horrible tragedy that the Celtics franchise has yet to recover from”. I can’t even think of an analogy that is sufficiently accurate, so I won’t even try. Perhaps “the gut punch by which all gut punches shall be measured” comes close, since a case could be made that the Lakers never would have Three-Peated (and on down the line through Detroit, Chicago, and Houston) if Mr. Bias was involved.
One last thing - it’s been said that Len Bias did more in one day to reduce drug use among teenage boys in the 80s than Nancy Reagan and “Just Say No” did in 10 years. And I know that’s true.
Perhaps that’s the silver lining of his tragedy. If you want to read more about him, check out Wikipedia.
Micheal Ray Richardson, 6′5″ PG, Warrior/Knicks/Nets - The 4th pick in the 1978 draft out of the University of Montana, “Sugar” led the league in steals and assists in his second season (he was only the second player ever to accomplish that feat).
Yes, you read that correctly.
Chitwood writes “watch the tape on this guy - he was close to Magic’s ability to command a team and be a playmaker”. In addition he was also compared by coach Willis Reed to all-time Knick great Walt Frazier.
In the end, however, “Sugar” was used up by a drug problem and the league suspensions that came with that problem (it’s a whole other topic, but the NBA at that time was hyper-sensitive to drug use since that’s what comprised a large part of public opinion about the league).
Roy Tarpley, 6′11″ C, Dallas Mavericks - Another story of a promising rookie that couldn’t handle the success. A star at Michigan, he was drafted high, made the All-Rookie team, and had problems with drugs and injuries. Suspended from the league, he played overseas and attempted an NBA comeback in the early 90s, but was suspended again.
David Thompson, 6′4″ SG, Nuggets/Sonics - Nicknamed “Luke Skywalker” because of a reported 48-inch vertical jump, Thompson and Norm Sloan popularized the “alley-oop” at North Carolina State.
In one of basketball’s great tragedies, David Thompson played college basketball during the era where dunks were outlawed (the “Lew Alcindor” rule… although Thompson did jam one during his final collegiate game - a technical foul was called and the shot was disallowed… thank God they invented the breakaway rim).
As you might have guessed… he struggled with drugs and alcohol. In a somewhat famous incident, he severely injured his knee falling down the steps of the legendary Studio 54.
Chitwood remembers DT dropping 50 on the Rockets in the early 80s, and RFS his ownself remembers listening to his father talk about how David Thompson “could really get up there”.
Perhaps the best way to end this summary is to note the following:
David Thompson is considered by many to be the greatest player in the history of the Atlantic Coast Conference. If you don’t know what that means… think Michael Jordan, Tim Duncan, Ralph Sampson, Christian Laettner… and Len Bias.
Connie Hawkins, 6′8″ F, Pipers/Suns/Lakers/Hawks - This guy might be the biggest tragedy of them all. A poor kid from Bed-Stuy, Connie was - and by many accounts still is - the greatest NYC playground legend of all-time.
He got caught up in a gambling scandal at Iowa that - from everything I’ve read - was absolutely ridiculous and never implicated him in any wrongdoing. He was kept from receiving legal counsel, and his career was hampered.
Either way, he makes my top 5.
And finally… the “plus one”…
Marvin “Bad News” Barnes, 6′8″ F, St. Louis Spirit - One of the many free spirits that inhabited the ABA, Marvin is best-known for his inclusion in one of Bob Costas’ stories:
———————————————————- The team was flying from Louisville to St. Louis. The scheduled departure was 8AM, while the scheduled arrival was 7:59AM. Of course, the 8AM was Eastern Time, and the 7:59 was Central Time, but Marvin didn’t care about that.
After looking at the ticket, Marvin turns to Bob and says
“Man, I ain’t gettin’ in no damn time machine!”
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Who knows if that actually happened the way Bob said since he’s a publicity-hungry little monkey. But I still like it.
In fact… I said it this past weekend.
In Summary…
THE RFS ALL-TIME “WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN TEAM”:
Len Bias
Micheal Ray Richardson
David Thompson
Connie Hawkins
Roy Tarpley
plus
Marvin “Bad News” Barnes
Also Considered: Mitchell Wiggins, Lewis Lloyd, William Bedford, and John Lucas (submitted by Chitwood), plus Earl “Goat” Manigault, Herman “Helicopter” Knowings, Joe Hammond “The Destroyer”, and Jackie Jackson (by RFS his ownself)
As a new feature on RFS, we’re doing Top 5 Plus 1 (T5P1)on any and everything imaginable. Send in your thoughts on future lists, although I may have to run them by Shooter or Chitwood first.
The first T5P1 covers something I alluded to in my NBA Notebook #1 - my “All Warrior Team”.
I originally thought I was going to do college only, but then I decided to do NBA only. THEN I decided to do a mixture. To summarize… this topic is open for comment. I looked at lists of All-Americans from past years (which is ridiculously difficult to find - if you have a good link for historical NCAA basketball reference, send it to me), and then I thought about guys that may not have made the list but that I would have loved to play on the same team with.
Here’s what I came up with (in no particular order, after Sir Charles):
Charles Barkley (aka The Round Mound of Rebound) - Undisputed, and Captain of the All-Warrior Team. Some guys have been tougher players, some guys have been better players. But nobody was this far out on the “efficient frontier” of those two criteria.
Sir Charles played at Auburn and was quite possibly the most overachieving (given his 6′5″ height versus his 3/4 position and his body composition) NBA player in the history of the league.
I posted the NBA Superstars video of him in NBA Notebook #1. Awesome. But this one is better.
Holy crap. I think I started sweating while watching those 76ers highlights. Two thoughts on the video:
(1) The block at 0:54 was awesome
(2) His step-back 3-pointer on David Robinson at 2:52 was something to behold (I witnessed it in person). I happen to think that David Robinson is one of the classiest individuals I’ve ever seen, but… I couldn’t help but chuckle a little bit when:
(a) He and Barkley came into that playoff game as the #1 and #2 MVP contenders
(b) Barkley outplayed him, including that game-winning dagger, and
(c) During a timeout just before Barkley hit that shot, the “David Robinson #50 MVP” banner that was hanging from the bottom of the scoreboard… unraveled onto midcourt. It seemed like the basketball gods were casting their vote.
Kenyon Martin (aka K-Mart) - This guy always gets after it. I was never a huge Cincy fan, but I always tuned in to watch K-Mart play. I was genuinely disappointed when he broke his leg.
And if you’re a loyalty type of guy, you probably respect the fact that - after Bob Huggins was fired by Cincy - K-Mart told his PR guys to delete from the program the fact that he graduated from Cincinnati. Some good dunks in the video, but they don’t get across the “warrior” part.
(NOTE - lots of language in the music playing with the video)
The guy plays with emotion. I like that.
Brian Cardinal - This is my obscure reference, but for anybody who watched a lot of college ball in the 90s… you know what I’m talking about. This guy was a 6′8″ or so forward that was on the floor after loose balls more than anybody I’ve ever seen in my life. Couldn’t jump, couldn’t run, couldn’t… anything. But he threw ‘bows and got on the floor and got it done.
A classic, prototypical Gene Keady-type of player. I have absolutely no connection to Purdue whatsoever (except for an encounter with Gene Keady when I was 12, but that’s another story), but I always watched Cardinal when I had the chance.
Just trust me on this one. Plus, he gets bonus points for looking like a 35 year old man when he was a senior in college.
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Calvin Murphy - I don’t have any video, I don’t have any firsthand knowledge, and I don’t have anything else to prove this.
Except that I’ve read from multiple sources that just about everybody in the ABA and NBA was afraid of 5′9″ Calvin Murphy.
When Kermit Washington knocked out Rudy T, bystanders worried that Calvin Murphy - one of Rudy’s best friends - would actually KILL Kermit. Who knows if that was true (Kermit was 6′9″), but the very fact that people were worried about it says something.
There are other stories I’ve heard as well, so Calvin gets the only Guard spot on my All-Warrior team.
Xavier McDaniel (aka X-Man) - Last, but certainly not least, is the X-Man. The first collegiate player to lead the nation in scoring and rebounding in the same season, he is RFS his ownself’s favorite college basketball player of all-time (I watched him play in person).
Believe me, there was nobody like X. I wish I could find some video, but I honestly haven’t seen a player since him attack the other team like he did. Literally.
Check out this picture of him choking the ever-loving crap out of Wes Matthews in the middle of a game. Can you imagine the s#!tstorm that would occur if something like that happened today? Think Spree/Carleisimo times 100.
I said… GIMME YOUR LUNCH MONEY!
On top of that, he was an All-Star and a 20 point scorer.
And on top of THAT, he was a movie star (probably the greatest sports cameo in history in the movie Singles; Kareem in Airplane doesn’t count as a cameo, if you’re wondering).
Additional stories about the X-Man:
-Legend has it that when he arrived on campus during his freshman year at Wichita State, he walked up to All-Americans and bookend junior forwards Antoine Carr and Cliff Levingston and said
“So which one of you guys is going to sit down?”
-In a heated rivalry game against Tulsa, he had to be restrained from going after forward Brian Rahilly. Wide-eyed, yelling, and pointing his finger from across the court… and that was just heading into the tunnel at halftime. I’ll ask again - when’s the last time you saw something like that happen in college basketball?
-During his 1984-1985 quest to become the first player to lead the nation in scoring and rebounding, Bradley Braves coach Stan Albeck mentioned to a sportswriter that he thought X’s stats were padded at home games.
Bad move, Stan.
According to legend, after X heard about it he paced up and down the aisle of the plane for the entire trip to Peoria, fuming. According to fact, he dropped 30 points and pulled down 20 boards against Bradley.
-When asked why he had punched an opposing team’s player, X replied:
——————————————————————– “Well… I saw he was coming at me, so I hit him first in self-defense.”
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I think my “Plus One” is going to be Allen Iverson. The beating that guy has taken, combined with his stature, combined with his stats, combined with stuff like the fact that a 5′11″ guy led the NBA in FT’s during one season is just absolutely ridiculous.
So, in summary:
THE RFS ALL-WARRIOR TEAM:
Charles Barkley
Xavier McDaniel
Kenyon Martin
Calvin Murphy
Brian Cardinal
and
Allen Iverson
Also considered - Warren Jabali, Wes Unseld, Maurice Lucas
Let me know what you think (especially you, RFS Chief Basketball Commentator Dan “Chitwood” McGillicuddy). I’m sure I left somebody out…
As always, use the comment box or send questions. I have a new email address for the website - rumblin@gmail.com
If you’re bored (or know someone who is - this means you, Shooter), make sure to check the “Flotsam” and “Jetsam” pages at the left of the site.
I won’t always have the time/inclination/inspiration/whatever to post something meaningful (keep your punch lines to yourselves, please), but I’ll throw stuff in there that I thought was either interesting or entertaining.
To commemorate the introduction of Flotsam and Jetsam, I’ve got two great video clips.
The first is relevant because (1) it’s one of my favorite Homer Simpson scenes, and (2) it mentions the website name that I almost chose instead of RumblinFumblinStumblin.com*
Plus, you just can’t argue with Homer Simpson doing a Tony Montana impersonation:
The second one is from Family Guy. I was ambivalent about this show until I saw the following clip, afterwards I felt like it had the potential to be better than The Simpsons. Whether that’s because I genuinely thought the show was funny or that I couldn’t the gott-&*^% mutha-%^&*$%# song out of my head… I can’t really say.
Whew. Consider yourself fairly warned that for each time you listen to that song, it stays in your head for 12 hours.
High Five,
RFS
*P.S. - The website name that I almost chose was “cockystrideandmuskyodor.com”. In the end, though, I decided that I was appealing to a higher-income demographic and should act accordingly.
