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Check out the clip of one of the greatest that never was. I love how he almost gets the second inbounds pass:

He made it look too easy. Grab your hankies, Celtics fans. On to the notebook…

Coach K, will you go to prom with me?

1. Dukie V - I watched the last few minutes of Indiana @ Duke, and unfortunately I had to listen as well. Everyone who knows Dick Vitale (aka Dukie V) knows that he has no shame when it comes to hyping and loving Duke basketball. Which is to say that he’s not exactly an objective observer… which is to say that his call of the game makes me want to projectile vomit sometimes.

But last night he outdid himself, and partner Dan Shulman joined in. Late in the game, DeMarcus Nelson goes to the line for the Blue Devils for some crucial free throws. Here’s what happened:

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Dan Shulman: Nelson entered the game tonight just a 56% shooter, he’ll get two.

(Nelson releases the first shot with perfect form… IT BARELY GRAZES THE BOTTOM OF THE NET AND LANDS DIRECTLY UNDERNEATH THE BASKET)

Dukie V: Wow. That’s physically just… tired… no legs in that shot! You gotta get your legs-

Dukie V: [We’re] Callin’ our bosses, have ‘em pay for our clothing! Send ‘em to the cleaners!
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Dick, you’ve become a caricature of yourself. Do a few West Coast Conference or Missouri Valley Conference games, earn some money, and get your objectivity back from the pawn shop. Everybody who saw that free throw knew from his release that a 56% free throw shooter just flat-out choked the shot. But no… it was because he was “tired”… no wait… it was sweat! Yeah, that’s the ticket! It’s steamy in here, baby! I’m gonna scream at the top of my lungs for the next few seconds and hopefully create an experience so painful for the viewer that they’ll mentally block any memory of a Duke player doing something poorly!

IT’S STEAMY IN HERE, BAAAAAAAABBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

I could have put an eyeball joke in there somewhere, but this is one of those classy websites that you read about in the New Yorker (and deep down… I have to grudgingly respect Dukie V’s passion for the game). I digress.

2. Cumulative Prognostications - I’ve tailed off after a hot start. More picks tomorrow, plenty this weekend, and a possible bunker-buster next week. Stay tuned.

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Cumulative Prognostication Record: 7-6-1 (54%)

Cumulative Prognostication Net Units: +6
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Popularity: 7% [?]

Alright. RFS got diverted from the old school dunks motif for a day by the “Jayhawks, thy name is suckitude” theme. Let’s get back on track. Watch this for one of the best dunk highlights in NCAA tournament history, courtesy of the Texas Tech swingman. This happened in 1998, right in the middle of the explosion in popularity of March Madness - make sure you have the volume up to hear the crowd reaction:

Check out the great Sports Illustrated picture here.

On to the notebook…

1. Texas - As usual, Texas crossed up the official RFS prognostication yesterday.

Here’s the problem, which is the same as it’s always been for Rick Barnes’ Texas teams… they don’t appear to have grasped the concept of team basketball. What I mean is, the essence of college basketball - as it is with synergy in business - is “1+1=3″. Every damn year I watch Texas play, and I can’t see a discernable difference from what would happen if all of those McDonald’s All-Americans just showed up 5 minutes before the season and they rolled the balls out.

To be more specific, an easy way to tell how much a given team grasps the “team concept” - and by definition, how good a given coach is at his job - is their shot selection.

Dribble drives and kick-outs, passing out of the double-team from the post, skip passes, swinging the ball quickly and efficiently. These are all things designed to get quality shots.

I have watched a ton of college basketball over the last 15 years, and I can honestly say that these Rick Barnes Texas teams take more crappy shots (loosely defined as long 3s early in the possession, contested 3s anytime in the possession, and inside shots against double-teams or traps) than any other team I can recall.

The team with the athletic advantage - which Texas should have in 90% or more of its games - by definition should be able to get easier shots. Yet every time I watch them I’m amazed at the number of difficult shots.

Part of this is the dynamic of having a group of superior athletes that have their eyes on an NBA paycheck and are therefore looking to showcase themselves, rather than getting a W. Part of it is Rick Barnes’ recruiting ability (which - make no mistake about it - is UT’s recruiting ability) exceeding his coaching ability. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn’t.

Which means… they’re a wild card. I hate taking either side of any game they’re involved in, and I never pick them to advance very far in the tournament, because consistency is rewarded in that context (see Duke). And I HATE picking them to cover.

To sum it up - to paraphrase a famous economist or statistician that I can’t remember at the moment -

“life has fat tails… and so does Texas against the spread”.

For a more concise (and for that matter, better) explanation of what I’m trying to say, read this article about the Wichita State Shockers.

2. Fearless Prognostications - Here are the picks (with confidence rating in units):

(2 units) Indiana - 13.5 vs. Indiana State

(1 unit) USF - 1.5 vs. Fresno State

(1 unit) Lamar + 24.5 @ Texas A&M

(3 units) Michigan State + 5 vs. Maryland

I think Indiana is a wild card. But what I do know is that their fans (1) still remember the glory days, (2) that they’re tired of being dinged by in-state mid-majors, (3) Butler beat the Hoosiers earlier this week, (4) that Indiana State beat Indiana last year, putting a big-ass nail in Mike Davis’ coffin, and (5) that as a result of those factors, that Kelvin Sampson - who is looking for legimitacy as the head of the program after his recruiting sanctions - is going to have his kids ready to make a statement against the Sycamores. As much as it pains me to pick against the Trees, I wouldn’t be surprised to see a good old-fashioned beat-down happen in Bloomington.

I think San Francisco is a random pick, but they worked for me against Sac State.

I think I don’t know a damn thing about Lamar, and I think I LOVE A&M’s squad. A&M is a team with a non-elite (but still very good) group of players with a GREAT coach in Gillispie. But they’re getting saddled with a Duke-like spread. I hope, and I think it’s possible, that A&M wins by 30… but I don’t think it’s a probability.

I think Michigan State looked VERY strong against Texas, and despite Maryland giving St. John’s (and RFS by extension) a good old-fashioned eye jammy last night, I still think Maryland’s a regular team that just happened to hit on all cylinders. That line is just off. Plus… I hate Gary Williams.

Good luck tonight, and if you like the material, use the Digg button at the end.

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Cumulative Prognostication Record: 6-3-1 (65%)

Cumulative Prognostication Net Units: +7
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Popularity: 11% [?]

Well, the staff here at RFS was ready to continue our old school/dunk motif with another great college basketball clip from years past. However, due to breaking events (from last night when we wrote this) we bring you the following clip from the venerable Phog Allen Fieldhouse at the University of Kansas:

Why, that home court advantage is so massive that surely they don’t even play the games. Surely the other team just pisses down their leg, then lines up to shake hands.

I’m too tired to be sarcastic. Just see #3 below.

On to the notebook…

1. Random Note - I just heard the announcer for the Arizona-Northern Arizona use the phrase “it’s the angle of the dangle”. I’m not sure whether I need to know the context of that.

2. RFS CHN #3 Prognostications/Observations - UWM succeeded in proving a worthy foe for a once-again overrated Michigan team. I’ll never understand why an NCAA team like UWM gets 18 points against an NIT team like Michigan in the preseason. Hell, they were winning 34-29 in the second half. Kansas State handled Rutgers, ‘Cuse throttled Northeastern, and Georgetown destroyed Vandy. Next!

3. Were the fans chanting… or moaning? - Congratulations to Oral Bob for not only having a great nickname and tolerating a religious zealot as the head of their university, but also for going into Allen Field House and throwing a beatdown on the Jayhawks. Trust me, nobody deserves it more.

Okay, maybe Arizona and Duke deserve it more… but I only hate them half as much as I do KU.

It’s a little known fact that in the Bill Self era, the Jayhawks have had more McDonalds All-Americans play for them than there are actual employees at McDonald’s. And what does Bill Self deliver? Massive first-round upset losses against Bucknell and Bradley in the NCAA tournament, and crap like this at home. Hell, the whole REASON that teams like KU and Syracuse and Arizona don’t leave home is because they want the wins. And don’t think this was like Villanova over Georgetown in 1985, Oral Bob shot 47% from the field. KU got outplayed at home. No excuse.

That being said, KU is a massively talented team. The official RFS conclusion? That - at this point in time - I would neither like to be (1) the players on KU that will be puking up a lung after running suicides at 6AM practices, or (2) the team that plays them next. Actually, I think I might prefer the puking.

The early RFS line on this one is KU -21… and my recommendation is that you not bet against them. Because if they don’t win and win convincingly, Bill Self may actually be working the fryolator at Mickey D’s by next week.

4. Fearless Prognostications - So far, so good. Here are the picks (with confidence rating in units):

(1 unit) Samford + 2.5 @ Towson

(1 unit) Texas - 4 vs. Michigan St

(1 unit) St. John’s + 2 vs. Maryland

I think Samford is a decent program that is going to capitalize on a Towson team looking past them to Kansas.

I think I hate the way Texas plays (5 games of one-on-one), but they’re ready to make a statement against a Michigan State team that lost most of it’s offense in Mo Ager, Shannon Brown, and Paul Davis. And there’s no time like the present for Kevin Durant to (Nuke LaLoosh voice) ANNOUNCE HIS PRESENCE WITH AUTHORITY!

And lastly, I think that St. John’s has five returning starters and is basically playing at home in the Garden against a Maryland team that is a mid-major masquerading as a real basketball program. I’m talking to you, Gary Williams…

Don’t forget - if you like these posts, use the Digg button at the end.

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Cumulative Prognostication Record: 6-0-1 (93%)

Cumulative Prognostication Net Units: +10
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Popularity: 7% [?]

Another old school jam, courtesy of Pitt Panther Jerome Lane (I couldn’t find one without loud annoying rap music, so make sure the volume is turned down):

College basketball junkies (as well as people who played blackjack with me at the Hard Rock in Vegas three years ago) know that this is the dunk which prompted one of the greatest live play-by-play calls of all-time from the legend, Bill Raftery, when he proclaimed:

“Sssssend it in, Jer-OME!!!!!!”

On to the notebook.

1. Bill Raftery - Now’s as good of a time as any to cover Raftery, who is hands-down the most entertaining basketball commentator. Send Billy FudgePACCer and Nantzy Boy to the idiot farm, and give me Bill the Thrill. Anyway - the top 4 Raftery expressions, according to RFS:

#4 - And the Shockers come out in… MANAMAN!!!

#3 - …wwwwwiTH the kiss!!

#2 - There’s a little lingerie on the deck…

#1 - To the tin… WITH ALACRITY!!!

2. Fearless Prognostications - Northern Iowa is a solid team and will cause significant problems in the Missouri Valley Conference this year. At the same time, while Washington is a solid team with size, they won’t hold up against a team with athletic big men.

In short, UNI gave them all they wanted last night, and in my opinion outplayed them, but I ended up pushing on that one. Stuckey only hung 25 on UNLV instead of my prediction of 30 , but Eastern Washington covered nevertheless. San Fran rolled. Fearless prognostications for tonight (with confidence weighting from 1-5):

(1 unit) Wisconsin-Milwaukee + 18 @ Michigan

(3 units) Kansas State + 2 @ Rutgers

(1 unit) Syracuse - 19 vs. Northeastern

(2 units) Georgetown -2 @ Vanderbilt

I think UWM continues its reputation as a feisty mid-major against Michigan continuing its reputation as a big-time school with a mid-major program. I think I’d put 10 units on Kansas State if it weren’t so damn early in the season (I’m telling you - Huggy Bear is building a monster up there. Hide the women and children… and the Jack).

I think Syracuse and Paul Harris put on a show in its string of 8 million straight non-conference home games. And unless there’s something I don’t know about Roy Hibbert’s health status, Georgetown destroys Vandy in Nashville. That’s another one I’d load up on if (a) G’Town weren’t streaky, (b) it wasn’t their first real (and road) game of the season, and (c) if Vandy didn’t have a weird home court.

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Cumulative Prognostication Record: 2-0-1 (83.3%)

Cumulative Prognostication Net Units: +3
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Popularity: 59% [?]

First things first. Check out this BAD ASS dunk by Dirk Minniefield back in the 80s. Keep in mind that he’s 6′3″. I’ll repeat - 6′3″.

Sick. Just sick. As the season goes on, I’ll put some more of my favorites on here. On to the notebook…

1. Bobby Knight - The media has some odd fascination with trying to turn this guy into a monster. The bottom line is that all of the guys who stick with his program love him, parents (including the two whose son is at the center of the latest controversy) send their kids to him, and he’s established himself as one of the greatest - if not THE greatest - coach of all time. Furthermore, he’s done it at the expense of his own success; he has refused to change his coaching or recruiting methods to accomodate the pampered players of today.

Let’s forget about this and get on with the season.

2. The Ultimate Hoops Challenge - If you didn’t catch my post yesterday and you’re a college basketball fan, make sure you check this guy out. And unless somebody is impersonating him, Miguel actually found this website and took the time to leave a comment. So check out his website throughout the season.

3. RFS’ Fearless Prognosications #1 - It’s 8:30PM CT, so not many games are left. Here are the stone cold locks for tonight, with the unit weighting (1-5) for each:

(2 units) USF -3.5 @ Sacramento St

(1 unit) E Washington +9 @ UNLV

(1 unit) No Iowa +9 @ Washington

I think Rodney Stuckey drops 30 on the Runnin’ Rebs tonight, and Northern Iowa just might take out Washington if Grant Stout can have a big night. San Fran is just a hunch on a solid program from a slightly better conference (WCC vs. Big Sky).

Cumulative Prognostication Record: 0-0-0

Cumulative Prognostication Net Units: 0

Popularity: 5% [?]